A message to those who bully 'bananas'

Stop the bullying and be more empathetic.

I didn't originally upload the snapshots below and they aren't mine.

Just thought I'd make that clear before moving on to address them.

Bullying can be caused by a whole range of factors (the biggest one is because the bully is an asshole). The point that was raised in the comment was that his Malaysian Chinese friend's inability to speak mandarin has become a source of his friend's bullying for certain assholes.

Now while I think everyone has the right to speak in any language they are comfortable with especially with friends that speak in the same mother tongue, I don't think that gives the right to anyone to bully or alienate a person just because he is not capable of doing the same.

I wish to be able to speak Mandarin to my cute younger cousins during Chinese New Year or even Cantonese or Hokkien with my elder relatives and understand the stories they have to tell and to tell them mine as well. Now all I can do is sit down and watch their mouths move for a few days and try my best to look like I'm having as much fun as possible.

I don't think bananas speak out about this a lot but as a banana myself, I have found myself in situations where I've been looked down upon because I'm deemed not to be Chinese enough. I'm not saying this is done by everyone who speaks Mandarin but only those select few that happen to be assholes as well. I have really good friends who speak Mandarin all the time and I have no problems with that because they treat me with respect and I understand it's hard to switch from language to language.

However, I think there may be a lack of understanding from those who speak Mandarin about people like me. We don't choose to be illiterate in Mandarin. I didn't remember coming out of my mother's womb to tick which language I wanted to speak in. I was raised in a household where English was the only language that I used. I did not go to a Chinese National School and the choice at that age on whether or not to be sent to a Mandarin class was decided by my parents and not me, both of whom decided at that time to prioritise classes in other areas of study instead.

I think the most common misconception about bananas is that "we don't speak Mandarin because we think we are better than those who do". They might think we are arrogant in refusing to learn Mandarin or refusing to speak it when in truth for the most of us, we just grew up in a background where there really wasn't an option to do so. Even if some of us go on to learn it in later years, I think we can agree that we do face some difficulty in blending in during the time in our lives when we don't.

I have been trying to pick up Mandarin lately and while I have gotten better, I am nowhere near to being capable of holding a long conversation with it. People laughing at you when you attempt to speak doesn't help either.

How I wish that I could be able to speak fluent Mandarin when I wake up tomorrow. It's not that I'm not trying.

I wish to be able to speak Mandarin to my cute younger cousins during Chinese New Year or even Cantonese or Hokkien with my elder relatives and understand the stories they have to tell and to tell them mine as well. Now all I can do is sit down and watch their mouths move for a few days and try my best to look like I'm having as much fun as possible.

I wish I could sing those Mandarin songs with my friends during karaoke and understand the songs they sing so passionately. Now all I can do is sit there for a few hours and watch their mouths move. Ever went to a karaoke where there were only Arabic songs? That's how it feels.

I wish I don't have to go to a Chinese restaurant in Malaysia and stare nervously at the menu in fear that I will be judged by the aunty or uncle taking my order for my inability to speak the Chinese language. Imagine all the good food I'm missing out on. lol

I wish I don't have to stare blankly at the wall as my friends laugh at a joke I don't understand or in appreciation of a story I can't hear.

I wish I belonged.

I sometimes feel like I live in a constant state of suspension. I definitely won't be accepted as a Malay. My malay is assumed not to be good simply because of the colour of my skin.

I won't belong to the Indians because of the colour of my skin.

And when it comes to the people that share the same colour as mine, I am alienated because of my inability to "prove" my Chinese ethnicity.

Don't even mention those that think I'm not supposed to be in Malaysia.

People like me are the product of colonialism and segregation, speaking the language of those that colonised Malaysia while left neither tied to the country of my ancestor nor truly belonging in this one.

In the UK, I am Malaysian but back home I am Chinese.

I wish I could say I am Chinese but it's hard for me to do so. I did not grow up in China and I don't speak their language.

And yet I possess a name that is Chinese. It is through that name and the colour of my skin that leads others to put an obligation onto me to adopt a certain cultural heritage and celebrate their cultural traditions.

Learning the history of my ethnic origins and their cultural heritage is important. I do not deny that but culture is constantly evolving and it is time to accept that the Malaysian Chinese community is different from their ancestors' community in China a 100 years ago. Maybe we can all take a DNA test to find out that we are not even 100% of whatever race we seem to identify with.

It would be nice if every Malaysian can speak 4 languages fluently then we can maybe try to break down the race barrier that we have and finally start talking to one another. I'm not surprised by the number of Malaysians that end up just living within their own ethnic community.

So don't look at me in disgust when I am unable to speak the language. Just accept that I can't and treat us 'bananas' as a Malaysians instead because I don't have any other alternative.

Stop the bullying and be more empathetic.